Sticks and Stones
"Sticks and stones will break your bones but words can never hurt you." That sing-song phrase has always puzzled me, seeming backward, or at the very least, unbalanced. While I have not been on the receiving (or giving) end of too many sticks or stones, I would imagine that the sting of any such injury would not hurt nearly as much as the bruise acquired by a barbed comment aimed in my direction.
But perhaps this is just the way it is for the thinner-skinned individuals among us (yes, I count myself here.) I recently became aware of a conversation among friends in which I was called a few names. Okay, perhaps "name-calling" is the wrong descriptor. Rather, my character was described in terms that were slightly less than flattering, and on the day that this was brought to my attention, I spent hours worrying. Hours. Sleep lost. A day that could have been spent productively was spent going through the motions while in the back of my mind words were ringing over and over. "Dramatic? Thin-skinned? Irresponsible?" "IRRESPONSIBLE???? Those who know me will agree: I don't have a thin-skinned leg to stand on to argue against "dramatic" so I'm nearly willing to let that one go. (Let me remove my tiara and get back to you.) Apparently, within this same discussion, the time I give to a ministry within our church (not enough?) was also questioned. Ouch. Was that a stick or a stone?
So I did some self-reflection. Unfortunately, it lasted most of one very sleepless night. Did I perhaps act irresponsibly in a recent situation which impacted my friend? Was some sort of "drama" in my life affecting our conversations? Am I giving enough to a ministry in the church to which I have committed to give with my whole heart? And I started to wonder: maybe this conversation had been brought to my attention for a reason, and instead of being indignant about being the topic of an unpleasant conversation, could I take this in and learn from it, grow from it, and change a little for the better? God has put these women in my life for a purpose. They have been good and true friends to me, and I have learned from them in the past. What was I supposed to learn from them now?
I saw my friends the next day, as I usually do in this small town, which I seem to have made smaller by circling through the same few places each day. I chose not to pout (at least not in their presence.) I responsibly handled the business for our upcoming event. I tried desperately to focus on my friends instead of dwelling on the verbal bruises—the hurts that they did not even know had been inflicted. I will not say that it was an easy task. At times, the cutting words were still swirling through my head. But with faith, and by trusting in God who has made me in His image, I realized that there are other words describing me, shaping me, always. Words that can shout louder than any human conversation, and whisper softly, just to me, when I need to hear them most of all. So, sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you? Well, I'm still not totally convinced, but I'm willing to head out into this world with my slightly thicker skin while I listen to the good word inside.
(All friends referred to have been contacted and have approved this posting
)
But perhaps this is just the way it is for the thinner-skinned individuals among us (yes, I count myself here.) I recently became aware of a conversation among friends in which I was called a few names. Okay, perhaps "name-calling" is the wrong descriptor. Rather, my character was described in terms that were slightly less than flattering, and on the day that this was brought to my attention, I spent hours worrying. Hours. Sleep lost. A day that could have been spent productively was spent going through the motions while in the back of my mind words were ringing over and over. "Dramatic? Thin-skinned? Irresponsible?" "IRRESPONSIBLE???? Those who know me will agree: I don't have a thin-skinned leg to stand on to argue against "dramatic" so I'm nearly willing to let that one go. (Let me remove my tiara and get back to you.) Apparently, within this same discussion, the time I give to a ministry within our church (not enough?) was also questioned. Ouch. Was that a stick or a stone?
So I did some self-reflection. Unfortunately, it lasted most of one very sleepless night. Did I perhaps act irresponsibly in a recent situation which impacted my friend? Was some sort of "drama" in my life affecting our conversations? Am I giving enough to a ministry in the church to which I have committed to give with my whole heart? And I started to wonder: maybe this conversation had been brought to my attention for a reason, and instead of being indignant about being the topic of an unpleasant conversation, could I take this in and learn from it, grow from it, and change a little for the better? God has put these women in my life for a purpose. They have been good and true friends to me, and I have learned from them in the past. What was I supposed to learn from them now?
I saw my friends the next day, as I usually do in this small town, which I seem to have made smaller by circling through the same few places each day. I chose not to pout (at least not in their presence.) I responsibly handled the business for our upcoming event. I tried desperately to focus on my friends instead of dwelling on the verbal bruises—the hurts that they did not even know had been inflicted. I will not say that it was an easy task. At times, the cutting words were still swirling through my head. But with faith, and by trusting in God who has made me in His image, I realized that there are other words describing me, shaping me, always. Words that can shout louder than any human conversation, and whisper softly, just to me, when I need to hear them most of all. So, sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you? Well, I'm still not totally convinced, but I'm willing to head out into this world with my slightly thicker skin while I listen to the good word inside.
(All friends referred to have been contacted and have approved this posting
) 
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